


To Forgive, But Not To Forget

by urcool91



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Fix-It, Gen, His Last Vow Spoilers, Mary meant to kill Sherlock, Missing Scene, NOT Mary Bashing, but that's ok, dark-ish Mary, protective-ish Sherlock, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-24
Updated: 2014-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-20 16:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1517864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urcool91/pseuds/urcool91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock hears about the night he was shot from Mary's side of the gun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Forgive, But Not To Forget

**Author's Note:**

> OK, so this is just me, trying to make sense of HLV. I hope Sherlock's not too OOC. Comments are very much appreciated!

“You didn’t tell John.” Sherlock was jerked awake by the none-too-gentle voice of Mary Watson.

            “Yes, I think we’ve established that,” he said. She ignored him, instead fishing in her purse.

            “Janine’s downstairs,” she said. “You’re going to be in a _lot_ of trouble with her.” Sherlock just blinked, confused. “For stringing her along, you know. And she actually thought you loved her.” The corner of Mary’s mouth twitched. “Well, I got rid of that delusion.”

            “You’re still friends with her, then,” said Sherlock. “Even after… all that. Trying to kill her boss, drugging her.”

            “I did not drug her.” Sherlock snorted.

            “Oh, yes, I completely believe you. After all, when have you not shown yourself to be completely trustworthy?” Mary pressed her lips together in a tight line. “I should have paid attention to what I had deduced.”

            “And what did you deduce? Freelance assassin? Murderess?”

            “No. Liar.” Mary turned her attention back to her purse. “No, look at me. When I first scanned you I immediately deduced that you were a liar. I don’t know why I didn’t call you out on it then. I suppose that I liked that you made John happy. I saw him at the restaurant. Absolutely besotted. Sentiment is a weakness, of course, when applied to a machine, but with John… I suppose I erred. I love him like another older brother, and so I was content to let you be so long as you didn’t put him at risk.” Mary gave a pained laugh.

            “I suppose I’ve fucked that one up now,” she said.

            “Irreparably. Even if I was to forgive you and allow you back anywhere near him, I doubt that he would. If he knew, that is.”

            “What are you implying?” Mary turned to him now, jaw set and eyes full of suspicion. She was an animal that had encountered traps too often to take the scraps children fed her. Sherlock leaned forward, grimacing at the pain.

            “If you can give me an explanation that fits all of the facts, and if I think that it is good enough, than I may let you stay.”

            “Shouldn’t this be John’s decision?”

            “John is an idiot.” Mary’s lips tightened again. “No, no, not like that. I mean that he has absolutely no sense of self-preservation. He will be angry at you, yes, but eventually he will come back, even if you know you don’t deserve it. He’s that good of a man.”

            “I feel like you’re speaking from experience.”

            “Love covers a multitude of sins, even ones that shouldn’t be covered, and John is, whatever his faults, a very loving man.” Sherlock paused. “You don’t deserve him.”

            “Do you think I don’t know that?” Mary snapped. “And, to be fair, you don’t deserve him either.”

            “At least I’ve never pretended to.” Mary glared at him, but she had no response to that. “Explain. Now.”

            “Where should I start? With the CIA-sponsored training? My first kill? My fiftieth?”

            “I don’t believe it’s necessary to go that far back. After all, there are situations where you must kill to survive- or to allow the ones you love to survive. No, I want to know what happened that night and, more importantly, why you tried to kill me.” Mary opened her mouth but closed it again. “Go on.”

            “Janine and I are friends,” she said at last. “Like, actually friends. The plan was for her to unlock the window, allowing me to climb up, then to drug herself with some chocolate while I killed Magnussen. It would free us both from his grasp.” She looked over at Sherlock with a forced smile. “When she told me that you were coming up, I knew that John would be with you. Why wouldn’t he be? I hadn’t gotten the location of the files off of Magnussen yet. I needed more time. So when you came in the room, there was only one way out. Kill you, frame Magnussen. Simple.”

            “So you did really try to kill me,” said Sherlock. “I had been wondering.”

            “What do you mean?”

            “What kind of assassin calls an ambulance for the man she just murdered?”

            “That ambulance wasn’t for you,” said Mary. “It was for John.” Sherlock blinked.

            “John? Why would John need-“

            “Janine,” Mary said grimly. “I had no idea how long the chocolate would last. She was the one who came up with that part of the plan. And if she woke up and saw John there… well, the agreement had been that if anyone interrupted, Janine would hold them off if she was conscious. I hadn’t told her that that didn’t include my husband.”

            “You wanted to protect him.” It wasn’t a question. Mary could almost see the pieces sliding together in Sherlock’s head.

            “Of course I did. I married him, didn’t I?” Sherlock gave her a slight frown.

            “You lied to him.”

            “You lied to him for two years.”

            “I had no other choice,” said Sherlock. Mary glared at him.

            “Do you think I do?” she said. “There are people out there- individuals, families, whole countries- who would be very happy to see me dead. John gave me- John is my only chance. I can’t let him know what I am. He’ll leave me.”

            “You’d deserve it.” Sherlock’s voice was cold. Mary looked down, blinking too fast.

            “I never said I didn’t,” she said. “I’m a coward, Sherlock. I know that. I’m running from my past, dirtying my hands even more to try to make it go away. John’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but I will never say that I deserve him.” Sherlock sighed.

            “You really do love him, don’t you?” he said.

            “More than my own skin,” said Mary. Sherlock sighed again, but then he assumed his thinking pose. Mary looked at him with thin lips, brow furrowed slightly in confusion.

            “What are you doing?” she said.

            “Planning,” said Sherlock. “I can’t promise that he’ll have you once he knows, but I will do my best to make you look as good as a murderer possibly can.” Mary’s breath shuddered.

            “Do you actually mean you’ll…” She trailed off, unsure what to say. Sherlock smiled.

            “Of course,” he said. “It’s useful, after all, to have someone else to take care of someone with such a lack of self-preservation.” Mary laughed slightly.

            “From what I’ve heard,” she said, “you’re one to talk.”


End file.
